3 Minute Read
by Paul O' Brien
Just when we think we’ve seen it all we get a new surprise. A grown adult human—or possibly preteen or baby—emailed us recently asking for tips on packing a bag. They were going on a trip somewhere and unsure what to take. Yes, they wanted to know the best things to pack in their bag on the holidays. We have good news. Since our bags are already really f*cking great, step one is already taken care of (step one is always make sure the bag you’re stuffing with sh*t is a f*cking great bag). Step two is make sure the bag is full of useful, fun, amazing sh*t—especially when you’re packing for the holidays. Here’s a list, because everyone loves lists.
Make A List
Another f*cking list? Well yeah, not too get too “meta,” but you should make a simple list of what you need before you even go near that bag. Everyone needs a roadmap to get them somewhere and you’re no different. Write down your essentials and then you’ll know where you stand and you’ll be ready to ready to pack (an underrated ACDC hit from a parallel universe).
Be Positive 😀
It might not seem important, but attitude is everything. As you pack your holiday bag keep a big smile plastered on your face. Engaging in tip #10 while packing may assist in following this tip—it’s a free country. Remember that sign in your elementary school classroom with a monkey and a banana that said ARE WE HAVING FUN YET? Consider this a travel advisory: you are now officially having fun.
Roll That Sh*T Up
Folding is for amateurs. In the big leagues you roll that sh*t up like a tootsie roll. It saves space and it’s also strangely fun in a hypnotic kind of way. Roll, roll, roll, your sh*t merrily down the stream. You will find that packing just became a helluva lot easier and more fun. You’re welcome.
That means starting with the essentials (which hopefully are not dentures, but who are we to judge). Start with exactly what you will NEED to wear and go from there. You might need less than you think, especially once you factor in tip #8.
Meet Davey Pocket
Pizza pockets aren’t the only kind of pockets. Bags have pockets, too. Our bags have great f*cking pockets. In fact they have been rated as some of the best pockets on the planet by the Bureau Of Professional Pocket Stuffers
Stuff those pockets with sh*t. You’ll save space—and—if you’re really smart about it you’ll stuff the pockets with items that are related. One pocket could be full of toothbrushes, combs and toiletries, for example and another could be a place for your underwear and socks. Hey, we’re not telling you how to live your life, calm down—these are just some friendly tips.
Limit Your Liquids And Remember Your Meds
Here in the land of the free (and sadly, many other countries) there is a limit on how much liquid you can take on a plane. The TSA requires maximum 3.4 ounces. Gels are exempt, but don’t get too kinky, read the blog here about exactly what is a gel or liquid. We don’t want any medical mishaps, either, so remember your meds, soldier.
If You’re Flying, Check Your Airline’s Baggage Po(o)-licy
Depending on how much you’re packing you don’t want it to take a big bite out of your wallet. Some airlines charge extra for checked baggage. The good time to check this is before you pack a bunch of sh*t you don’t need and end up paying five times its worth in order to haul it to your parents’ house in Milwaukee. Trust me.
Plan On Getting Layer-ed
Your holiday might not end up being as spicy as you may have hope, but if you pack right you can guarantee you’ll get layer-ed. For those new to the game, layering is wearing clothes that can be worn one under the other in order to create warmth or easygoing freedom by just taking one shirt or layer of pants off or putting on one extra layer.
8. I’ll Be Washing For Christmas
Have you ever heard the saying “less is more?” Well, now you have. Many hotels and homes have washing machines and they can do a lot to take dirty clothes and make them really f*cking clean. So, don’t worry about rewriting the US Constitution with your boxers and panties: in the washing machine we trust.
Remember Your Ugly Christmas Sweater
Do it for the family photos. If you don’t have a family do it for the selfie photos. Ugly is in the eye of the beholder. Deep down we all know it is actually genuinely beautiful. So pack it (or even better, wear it).
Tag Your Bag 🏷️
As we all know, it’s easy for your bag to get lost in the holiday shuffle, no matter how great it is. For this reason, we highly suggest tagging your f*cking great bag. Put a small placard with your name, address and telephone number and tie it to the bag. You can also consider putting a memento or belonging on the bag so it stands out on the luggage carousel or in overhead luggage: maybe a small teddy bear, a unicorn pendant, you name it: the world is your oyster.
Get out there and enjoy your holidays!