Guess what? We are back b*tches just like the Terminator, and this time, we also have a great f*cking bag to sell. Shocking! All eyes on us now! Our backers had a few requests they wanted in a backpack so we decided to oblige, that's why we're introducing the new Anvanda bag.
We are attention-seeking f*ckers. We want you to talk about Anvanda, think about how it feels pressed against you… Not like that, get your mind out of the gutter! We worked hard to create something to satisfy your wild needs, and we came up with a brilliant product. Let’s take a pause here so that you can let out a dramatic sigh.
If you ever dared to think we are one-hit-wonder like that guy that sings Gangnam Style, shame on you! We are here to show you that everything we create can be a smashing hit. Let us show you that we are the Beyoncé of bags! Because we listened to you, Anvanda V2 (yeah, we blew the name, but that s*it is easy to remember, so there’s that) is actually your brainchild as well. Congrats, you are a parent! We’ll be honest, many ideas you guys shared with us we adopted as our own. They were some great f*cking ideas! Since we created Anvanda V2 together, let’s be those annoyingly proud parents and talk about it some more.
Our Kick-A*s Bag Campaign Set Kickstarter on Fire
The world is going to be a better place with Another Great f*cking Bag that allows people to carry all their (un)necessary s*it. Two is better than one, that’s why you can’t ever have too many Anvandas. The only problem will be running out of s*it to carry.
We thought about all of you weirdos that like to carry all of your home inventory in your bag, and that’s why we created a V2 version of Anvanda. You backers helped us achieve our goal on Kickstarter in just over two hours… I guess sometimes finishing fast is a good thing. 😉
However, before we start bragging about our new creation, we want to thank you for supporting us. You guys are the best! And we won’t forget you when we become rich and famous!
Thinking About Buying the Hottest Bag of the Season?
We are all friends here, right? So we can be honest without passing judgment 🤣 First of all, bags are like a bare necessity of every human. How can you actually leave your home without a wallet, phone, headphones, matcha bubble tea, coffee latte mocha frappuccino (you hipster you), laptop, umbrella, teacup pig, Will Smith cutout, blender, pillow, bowling bowl… No? Is that just me? Of course, it is all of us. We love carrying all kinds of junk in our bags because carrying around half-empty ones is the first sign of insanity.
And yes, there is a pandemic going, and we are not leaving our homes quite so often, but we do not accept that as a valid excuse for not buying new bags. No matter what happens this year, put that freakin bag in your shopping cart. It is called investing in the future. After all, even if the s*it stays bad and you wind up fighting zombies “AMC’s the Walking Dead style,” at least with Anvandas, you’ll be able to raid at least two supermarkets at one go.
On the other hand, you can use it to carry your food from the fridge to your bedroom and pretend you are going on a picnic (whipped cream, anyone?). We do not judge, it is yours now, you can carry whatever the f*ck you want in it, just seize the day! But remember mixing Coca-Cola and Mentos doesn’t make Anvanda jetpacks.
Also, in the light of the current global pandemic situation (yeah, we know we are boring, but COVID-19 is really popular, so deal with it), the V2 has enough small compartments to fit all your hand sanitizers, face masks, gloves, alcohol wipes, and other s*it you can not leave your home without. When you see somebody is about to sneeze, spray them with alcohol and slap a mask on their face! You’ll have enough room for those in your Anvanda V2.
Step-by-Step Guide on How to Make the Most Out of Your Freakin Great Anvanda V2 Backpack?
We know it’s kinda self-explanatory and that normally, nobody needs instructions on how to put on a fu*king bag. How hard can it actually be? Then again, hot cups of coffee now have to have a warning that they’re hot. Blame it on people that have nothing better to do than go around looking for a way to s*rew others and make their lives miserable. That’s the kind of world we live in.
Another pro tip: Don't let your brand new V2 just sit there in your room. Wear it for f*cks sake. We understand if the pandemic made you become too comfortable with this "living in the new normal" thing and you became one with your couch, but here is how you should do it:
- Step 1 - Fill your V2 with everything you need and don’t need for the day and close it.
- Step 2 - Place it on your shoulders.
- Step 3 - Check yourself in the mirror.
- Step 4 - Nod in approval.
- Step 5 - Go outside and do stuff!
Introducing the New Anvanda V2 Bag, What Is So New About It?
Ok, so we kept the good old name because, you know, its purpose and the message we want to send are still the same. If you still haven’t googled what does Anvanda mean in Swedish, then we seriously need to consider adding a pocket dictionary as the next upgrade. Ever Google what the names of IKEA products actually mean? You weirdo. But besides the name, a lot of other things have changed.
For starters, our first model was versatile in the sense that it could be carried multiple ways. V2 is a backpack versatile in a way that it suits both women and men. Finally, you can borrow your girlfriend’s s*it without her flipping out about the fact you stretched her favorite skirt!
Now, do not panic because this backpack is actually all you need. If you’re more into bondage or horse stirrups (again, we never judge), there’s an optional chest strap. If you are more into a professional, “I got my s*it all figured out,” look, there are also handles on both the top and sides of the bag, so you can carry it like a briefcase. Hipsters will appreciate the fact that Anvanda can be carried on one shoulder, but if you are prone to back pain, we suggest you avoid this feature. Don’t say we didn’t warn you on time.
A Bag That Can Go Through Anything Is a Great Lifetime Investment
Unlike boyfriends, we actually listen to what you have to say (yes, we throw shade like it’s our job). And we gave life to your ideas. So what’s also new? We decided to bring in a bit more structure and give the V2 a more sturdy back, so it protects the contents a bit better and makes it easier for you to organize your s*it inside. Whether it’s toys, beads, inflatable dolls, doesn’t matter. Everything will be perfectly safe in our sturdy Anvanda. And sure, you can carry books and other nerdy stuff if you must, but where’s the fun in that?
A New Opening Mechanism to Help You Stay Organized
We all know that packing backpacks can get messy, and it is almost never as tidy as when you pack a suitcase. Backpacks sometimes seem like a bottomless pit. You just keep adding more stuff, but when you need to find something, you have to get it all out because what you need is most likely at the very bottom. But not anymore.
We decided to incorporate the so-called clamshell opening mechanism that allows you to basically lift the entire side like a lid, see all your contents, get that one thing you need, and close it without going through everything. Nobody will have to see that you actually carry a spray-on tan in a can with you. Let them all think you are naturally tall, dark, and handsome. However, if you prefer the good old fashioned way of digging through your bag, we also added a side opener so now you can get a new groundbreaking perspective on the s*it inside Anvanda.
Anti-Sweat Straps, Because Why Not
We all know that straps can irritate your armpits and cause you to sweat more, which is not so pleasant. That’s why handcuffs are a better choice if you want to air them out 😉. However, you can’t handcuff yourself to a bag (although you might want to to this one).
If you have those “sweaty” concerns, don't worry. We thought about that too. Every strap has a pad with an airflow system, allowing the air to circulate around freely and prevent extensive sweating. So feel free to carry it during the summer, pack your beach equipment or go hiking. If you shower daily, V2 will not make you shy if you lift your arms.
The V2 Has Several Great Pockets and Some More
There can never be too many pockets in a backpack, right? Our V2 backpack features enough pockets so you can safely tuck in every piece of s*it you want to carry around. Wallet (a matching Anvanda, of course), pens, papers, keys, coins, more pens, and all sorts of s*it. Just try not to forget what is in which pocket. There is a laptop sleeve for all of you digital nomads out there. Oh, and there is also one small pocket that is RFID protected, so feel free to put your passport, credit cards, or your lover's number here. Luckily, the new Anvanda V2 wallet also has RFID protection on its own so you don’t have to put it in this pocket. Unless you’re a paranoid mofo.
No Matter What S*it You Put Inside, the V2 Smells Good
This is something that was present in our previous model as well, but it is worth mentioning again, so you do not forget about this nice feature. We use the silver lining to protect odor from spreading around. People won’t avoid you because the smell from your bag makes them want to cry. With Anvanda, you get to keep both your friends and your smelly gym s*it.
But how do we make the magic happen🤔? The silver lining has antibacterial features so you can pack your bad smelly stuff in one compartment, and it would not contaminate your clean stuff. Great for socks or whatever, we do not really have to know e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g you carry inside.
Modern Patterns and New Trendy Colors
Pandemic got you looking like an extra from the movie Creature from the black lagoon? Don’t worry because the Anvanda V2 bag is a great eyecatcher. Nobody will pay attention to those dark circles and gills you might have developed. We introduced a new color palette and included some pretty cool patterns.
There is something for everyone, boys and girls, hipsters, nature lovers, and those who wear all black but have colorful lives. No, seriously, you can get a nice beige or a black one that will go well with every basic bitch outfit, or something more colorful that actually looks like eye candy and be a great conversation starter. If you enjoy those unpleasant conversations when random people asking you where did you buy this s*it. Oh, and one more thing, don’t ever call it a man-purse. It’s Anvanda bish.
And Finally, Yes, We Added the USB Connection
We are not exactly Santa Clauss, but yes, we decided to make this highly requested USB wish come true this season. Since you were not on our naughty list, here is a USB connection that allows you to connect and charge whatever f*cking gadget you want.
If you ever wondered what is a good backpack, this is it. Here you have it. And we are not saying it because it is ours, but because it really is a great f*cking bag. We noticed some questions popping out more often than the others (because you are a curious bunch), so we decided to give you some answers we also frequently repeat in our comments section. P.S. Those of you who wanted a built-in back massager, there’s still not enough of you. Is there a V3 on the horizon? Who knows :wink wink:
You'll just have to keep on using your manual back massager for Netflix and Chill for now 😝
Size Matters So Here It Is, the V2 Comes in Two Sizes
Yes, it does come in two sizes (unlike some other things 😉) because you have people who like to carry loads of s*hit around and those who prefer carrying a bit less. Since a laptop's size became pretty much the official unit of measure (just ask any guy, since they are always bragging about inches), there is the standard V2 that fits a 13" laptop and a large one that can fit 15" and probably most of the 17" laptops. What size do you prefer? Also, just one tiny little detail, only the large one has a USB connection, sorryyyy.
Concerns About the Genuine Leather (Yes, We Have a Non-Leather One Too)
For those who like and appreciate high-quality leather bags, we line our Anvandas with the finest full-grain Italian leather (it sounds fancy, doesn’t it). It looks like leather, and it smells like leather, damn it, it is real leather (just don’t bite it, it is not that kind of leather). But for all of you who are sensitive to this topic and do not want to carry a leather backpack for any reason, we also have a non-leather solution for you made of vegetarian leather. So before you start ranting in our comments and dialing PETA, please read all the information. Speaking of materials, we use zinc alloy for hooks and YKK zippers on all our bags.
Is It Easy to Maintain?
Is it easy to get dirty? Well, like all other bags (and their owners 😉). Is cleaning a bag complicated? Not really. You do not have to be a scientist to clean it, but it does help if you have mom powers because then you probably know how to clean all sorts of s*it. But if you put our beautiful reflective rain cover that comes with every bag, you would not have to worry about that at all.
Is There a Warranty?Although we strive to make backpacks that can last you for a lifetime, sometimes even the sturdiest Anvandas can die and go to paradis (*paradise in Swedish, see it is not so hard). We offer a limited lifetime period warranty on some parts like the chest strap, top strap, camera insert, and so on.
We Only Regret the Things We Did Not Buy
Like everybody with access to adult money, we all buy c*ap we don’t need. But Anvanda isn’t one of those things. You know what? We make some Great F*cking Bags, but we also offer some special kits and extras like shoulders pads, camera inserts, and a matching wallet for those of you who like being extra. Do not wait too long. Put it all in your shopping cart now or cry later. This is a freakin great s*it to wear, so do your image a favor while actually spending money on something useful for a change.
So, go to our Kickstarter page and get your Anvanda V2 bag ➡️ https://link.anvanda.com/2y5z