You, yes you! Oh, we know the type. Always carrying your schit around in a collection of sacks, because it won’t fit in one single bag, and you’re starting to think that a wheel-cart is probably a good idea. But, just you wait, there are types of bags that will make you look more classy, and less like a nerdy hoarder of tech gadgets, and all the other stuff that makes your little geeky heart jump around.
What? You thought there was only one type of bag that Anvanda Great Frakking Bag has to show off? Nah, we’re here to impress you, and tell you that there’s a bag to match your sneakers or your soul, where you can even fit your lightsaber in ;). Any of our bags will make you look so cool, you won’t need to use Jedi mind tricks to make people around you discuss how cute Baby Yoda’s ears are.
Fall in Love With All the Bitchin’ Types of Bags We Have
We know the pain when you can’t find what you’re looking for inside of the void that you call your backpack. And when you have to pull out your inner Allison Reynolds in the style of Breakfast Club and throw your schit on the table just to find the keys. All the dweebs out there that are looking to grab an Anvanda Great Effin’ Bag for themselves, are immediately going up the ladder of coolness. Okay, let’s face it, you’ll never be “I was Saruman and Count Dooku” Christopher Lee cool, but you’ll definitely be dressed to impress.
We don’t mean to brag (okay, maybe just a little itsy bitsy tiny bit) but our bags are going to be on top of your list of the most awesome types of backpacks out there. Here’s why - you have a laptop, a tablet, phone, keys, magic wand (wink, wink), a sandwich in which something started growing, your favorite D&D dice set… The list goes on. And you think that there’s no such thing as a bag that can hold all of your preciousss stuff. You’re wrong. We have pockets even where the sun don’t shine. Nah, we didn’t mean it like that, but literally all over our bags. And you can slide in (David Coverdale style) whatever you want.
One Bag to Rule Them All
There’s one secret that you should know, and we'll be glad to give it up - our bags are multipurpose and can look however the frak you want. Need a purse? You can carry it in your hand, where it fits perfectly. Need different purse styles to go with your versatile wardrobe? We’ve got you covered with a variety of colors, no matter if you want it to match your eyes, or that nerdy pullover, who are we to judge? Just grab that strap and put it where you like. Enough with the dirty minds, yes you!
Backpack & Handbag Combo All in One Bag
Ever heard of those types of handbags that can become an awesome frakking backpack, too? You did not? It’s just because you didn’t come to Anvanda sooner, but it’s never too late. A great (Fu*king) bag trend is never late, nor is it early, it arrives precisely when it means to, so this is probably the right time to get your hands on our purse/bag/backpack, call it whatever you want. It’s an all in one type of bag that perfectly goes with any wardrobe choice. With so many pockets, even Frodo could keep it hidden, keep it safe (See what we did there?). Lucky for movie fans that the bag was kept a secret, otherwise that would have been a short journey to the Mount Doom in the theaters.
The Perfect Bag Size
Our bags come in different sizes, so there’s no “one size fits all” excuse (twss!) when it comes to our Great Fu*king Bags. But it doesn’t matter if it’s bigger or smaller, either way, you can successfully hide your Necronomicon in it, and sneak it into the office. Just make sure you don’t summon Cthulhu under your boss’s nose, as it might be construed as a toxic power struggle.
And it’s perfect for working remotely, or whatever the hell you’re good at. No, it doesn’t have a jet pack inside, and it won’t enable you to be a Marty McFly of your generation, but you can grab it, throw your sh*t in, and go wherever the hell you want to work. Don’t get us wrong, this masterpiece bag is not meant only for an office, but it’s hella cool to be able to pack your work-related stuff, your toys, and a week's worth of snacks all in one bag. How cool is that? It’s Anvanda cool.
Putting on a suit and carrying a briefcase around can make you feel like Hazel and Cha-Cha combined, but what’s better than being laid back, and having a bag that you can place literally anywhere? Grab a blankie out of the bag in the middle of the park, and make your workday feel like a picnic. You couldn’t pull it off with a briefcase, now can you? (Take that, formal wear!)
Don’t stress about questions like “what kind of purse should I get”, just treat yourself to an Anvanda. And we bet you didn’t expect it to have a USB port, did ya? You may even throw a sonic screwdriver in, and it will make you feel invincible, just don’t forget to stick a battery inside (these are not included). No, we’re being honest here, there’s enough space in the Frakking Bag, it feels like a Tardis when you open the lid and take a look.
Keep Your Friends Close, but Your Schit Closer
Geek is the new sexy, and that’s a fact, but it’s also a fact that you might not notice if your techie junk is targeted by hackers, and you fall victim to an actual crime. Yep, we know that you were reading your favorite chapter of A Storm of Swords, and you were cursing because Starks didn’t realize that the Frays were lying cheating bastards…And there went all your bucks. We know that your cash was still left in the bag, but you were “swiped” of money through a process that is called “skimming”. The result is the same, Stark was relieved of his life, and you were relieved of your riches.
Gosh, how the hell are you gonna pay for a latte and a croissant, you hipster you? Jokes aside, this is a real threat that the modern age brought. But, we’re your guardians (of the Galaxy), so we know how to make you feel safe while you continue watching TikTok on public transport. All your stuff, and that means your phone, IDs, credit cards, and passport are perfectly safe in an RFID-protected pocket, and nobody will be able to nose around virtually or literally. Even your nudes will be secured, don’t worry.
Hm, do you want to be a fancy grownup? The thing about being an adult is that now you have access to adult money. That means that you can treat yourself with a real leather wallet. So you can wave it around, with or without money, looking like you’re not broke? Rejoice, we have an Anvanda Great Flakin’ Wallet to help you achieve the status of an Anvanda poster boy or a girl. It’s small, elegant, made to deposit all of your money in it, and put your piggy bank to rest.
Maybe You Don’t Own a Raincoat, but Your Backpack Sure Does
If you like piña coladas and gettin' caught in the rain (🎵🎵🎵), you will probably be thrilled to know that you can get soaked to the bone, while all your junk is safe and dry (well, not THAT junk, that’s gonna get wet, too). Your precious gadgets, as well as the reports you have to finish up and hand over to your boss, are gonna be dry as gin, so you don’t get an excuse at work. Sorry. Except maybe by saying that the world’s smallest tornado blew it off.
Whether you like to change your smelly socks during the day, or you love to pack a box of kimchi and bring it with you (we know it’s tasty, but it smells FOUL), the people around you can relax. If you’re wondering why, it’s because Anvanda is a Great Frickin’ Bag that has a silver lining, and it won’t give out any odor. It exterminates the darn bacteria, and it’s 99.99% effective. That doesn’t mean you should go around with a pile of sweaty underpants inside. It would be awkward if you reach in to grab a bag of chips, and touch… gross.
Play, We Mean Work - On the Go
Yes, your laptop will fit like a glove (or a condom, riiiight?), just choose the correct size. Squeeze your medium or large toys inside (hee hee) because there’s a special place for them. Each of our bags has a laptop sleeve, to keep your World of Warcraft account close at hand so it doesn’t get hacked. Right. With our Frickin’ bags, you can literally go anywhere, and you won’t look like a douche carrying a high school backpack. No, it will raise your coolness levels to the max, especially sine it comes in different designs.
Cool Backpack Features in Anvanda
You think that’s all? Nah, you’re wrong. Okay, now we’ll brag on purpose - there’s almost no end to the special features of our bags. Since we know you’ll carry loads of your useful, and useless schit everywhere with you, we’ve put an airflow system so you won’t sweat. Unless you’re somewhere living your (and our) tropical dream, then live with it :P
We’ve already mentioned that Anvanda has pockets all over, for any type of schit you want to keep inside.
There’s even an easy-access bottom pocket that you can reach without too much strain. Leave the strain for the gym, and while we’re at it, you should know that this fabulous piece of life-saving accessory has a front strap, where you can put your workout mat.
The hooks and straps are made to outlast other bags, and we’re not kidding - the hooks are YKK, made from durable zinc-iron material. It has a retractable stainless steel key ring, so the keys are safe, and the only thing you may lose is your head over this bag. It’s 100% free of any toxic chemicals, and it means you can freely use it as a pillow when traveling. Just watch out for drools, it would gross people and your Anvanda out.
Whichever Type of Anvanda You Choose, Be Classy - One Is Not Enough
We know you’re already in love with our Great Frakking Bags, and you just can’t decide which one to get. But, why stop at one? Grab at least two, and watch out for our v2 new release that will bring even more awesomeness to the Anvanda family. Trust us, it could even make a boomer look cool, so get one for your mom, too.
So, go to our webshop and grab our Great F*cking Bag and anything else you feel like buying https://anvanda.com/collections/bag